Trapped in my profession

[Darren]

Ok, I know that nobody is ever really trapped in their profession but I feel that way. I'm in the tech industry, I work in computers/programming and have lost my enthusiasm for my job. My wife is in the same situation with her job so it is doubly hard on us. We continue in our jobs because leaving them would mean big setbacks in our retirement goals etc... I know, $$ isn't everything... I've started over two times so far and I'm 36. I'm now in a job that is most peoples dream job...it was for me but now I've lost my desire to remain competetive in this industry. I may get it back but I fear I won't.

I'm sure this is a common happening for people. Why can't I just be happy with my job? Because I think I have bigger and better things I can do but I have no idea what they are. I dabble in realestate and have done well there but the market is stagnant and I am still fairly inexperienced in the field. I can't seem to figure out where my passion lies professionally. Neither can my wife.

So, because of my current income level I feel trapped! Most jobs that sound fun are less than half my current pay... been there and done that. I could handle losing a bit of my current salary but at this point in my life 50% would be devistating.

Ah, priorities... always a jumbled mess. Poor me right? I'm a blue collar guy trapped in the white collar world I guess.

Thanks for listening.

Darren

[Josuah]

Maybe you just need to change the company you work for. It might not necessarily be the job that you feel unhappy about, but rather the people you have to work with, the project you're working on, or the company you work for. Maybe switching to a new technology would be interesting for you.

[Sonnie]

Yeah... it sounds like you are successful, so maybe there are other companies out there that you can sell your qualities to. Or maybe you can go out on your own. I wasn't happy until I got out of Corporate America and went out on my own. So far it's been a blessing.

[Darren]

Hard to tell if it is the company or the type of work. The company is very fast paced and if you aren't climbing the ladder then you aren't working hard enough. I'm in a good spot there though and feel that the work/life balance is decent. Maybe I'm burnt out, maybe it's a small mid-life crisis... a tad early too . I don't know. I do know when I'm flipping houses I don't have a care in the world... I find that strange because I have a lot of $$ on the line when doing so. I'd love to work for myself but it is a bit freightening. I've done it in the past when I was young and failed due to a bad partnership. It was fun while it lasted though.

You work your whole life to get where you are and when you get there, sometimes it isn't what it is cracked up to be. I really like the people I work with, my benefits are fantastic... I just feel inadequate and THAT is what wears on me I think.

[maurice]

Something that helped me in the workplace was to forget about the **** place as soon as the day ended. Now you're on your own time, it's like a weekend. You have a wife that loves you at home and some projects on the go. To us, our home is our palace, workshop, theater, day spa and entertainment factory all in one. At home we are in paradise. That feeling puts you in a great frame of mind each day.
But it sounds like you've lost your "mojo". That is something none of us can help with. I lost mine a while ago. My solution was to set high but attainable standards for myself at work. work to live, don't live to work. Forget about other peoples standards, yours are higher .Forget what others think, be true to yourself and your family. And dont forget, you are married to a pillar of strength that won't let you down. Changing jobs may work in the short term, but wherever you go, there you are. You will still be you. When you can appreciate yourself and the things you do, you can move forward. I would stay at the job you're in but change my reason for being there. Your work influences the way millions of us interact with new technology. Never mind the boss, you're helping us. Now get off your arse and finish that subwoofer project. We want to see how it turns out. Tell us if things improve.
regards, Buddha

[Darren]

Yeah, losing my mojo kind of sums it up in a simple term. Me and the wife also view our home as our paradise. We love the home and our neighborhood. Part of my fear is that if I left for a lower paying job is giving up the home we've worked so hard for.

I guess I need to really take a look at myself and see what it is I want. I'd love to stay where I am, maybe that will be how it turns out. I too am very concerned that changing jobs would only be a temporary fix. I think that could very well be the case if I were to leave, then I'd really regret my decision as I cannot work for a better company than I do now.

Oh, the subwoofer has been done for a while... Love to shake the house.

Darren

[terry j]

I like the couple of little insights in the last few post's, yours Darren re maybe what was getting to you was your own perceived inadequacy, and Maurice, you made a few salient points as well.

The reason those couple appealed to me was that, well basically, WE make our lives. Unless you are totally asleep at the wheel and life is doing the making for you, for the most part what we get - the good AND the bad is our own creation.

The point??

Well, as Maurice said, it is very possible in changing jobs you will end up at exactly the same point again. Why?? Cause it's where you're at at this moment in your life.

So, my only suggestion, as purile as it may sound at first, try to re-create the job for yourself. Re- discover what it was about it that first appealed to you, and get that back. Make a game of it, life is meant to be fun and a game, all too often it becomes ' serious' and we lose our enjoyment of it and the same applies to our work.

Just prattled on a bit and then came to my senses and deleted it.

Good luck Darren, hope it works out for you.

[drf]

my humble thoughts: Maybe you are feeling this way becaue your work isn't taking you out of your comfort zone, leading to the same results day in day out? A tunnel vision of confinment can develope from repeatitive or predictable activities. Maybe this is why you feel in control and free when dabling in realestate where although the stakes are high, your ability to cope under pressure gets to stretch its legs and thus you take control of your life.

If this is not the case, at least know you are in my thoughts and prayers

[Steve Williamson]

I agree with Dr F, you need to find a way out of your normal life cycle, real estate may be high stakes, but you have joined a HT forum, can't you find a part time self employed vocation to enritch your life and take away the monetomy of your existence? I was the same as you, 32 years old and working for a large multinational IT company, left that and set up as a partnership as our own IT company (good saying: the worst ship to sail in is a partnership) met a few people in the industry and now do home theatre installs and home automation. Sounds like you and your partner would be the best couple to expand into this area. Hope you all the best in your endevours.

[lcaillo]

drf may have something. There is a great book that might put it in perspective, called Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly ( apologies if I mispelled that...it is tougher than even mine), who did research on thousands of highly effective and satisfied people in many fields. Possibly the most important book I have ever read. One of the factors identified is the balance between ability and challenge. I have found that management often makes the mistake of providing too much challenge in terms of production speed and not enough in terms of qualtiy of work. The former is often a problem because employees are not given the resources to succeed (therefore the ability is lacking compared to the challenge). The latter is a problem because the ability exceeds the degree of performance that is allowed by the job, causing frustration and bordom, even in a fast paced environment. The nature of the challenge is all wrong in terms of promoting excellence.

[Darren]

You guys all make a lot of sense, give me a lot to think about. I'll go through and re-read the posts and do a little thinking on my own. Sometimes I feel a career change would really help but then other times I'm utterly confused about what I want.

I am not sure if I am overly challenged or not challenged enough. Seems like it would be an easy question to answer but I truly cannot make the distinction right now. I do know I feel intimidated by my peers in this job, most are the cream of the crop, top notch in this industry and I'm a lowly developer . I desperately need to become motivated if I am to remain in my current job.

[lcaillo]

I hope you figure it out and find a way to be satisfied.

Be well. Be in touch.