my friend needs help.

[drf]

Sorry this is a very quick call for help, I will post the details later.

For now can people please pray for Katina for comfort and support?

Thankyou,

I promise I will update with the full story later but I am in a rush right now.



Cheers

Drf

[Danny]

Will do

[Sonnie]

No problem...

[Mongrel714]

I dont know her but my prayers are with her.

[drf]

Thankyou guys'

The story:

Katina is a close friend of our family, She was recently accused of being responible for the suicide of he ex-son-in-law. Her ex-son-in-law had suicidal tendancies for quite sometime, apparently his genetic father also had them and took his life some years before. The person who accused her of being responisble was the mother of the deceased, I honestly believe she is just venting uncontrollable anger over the loss of another family member to suicide. I am pretty certain the breakdown of his marriage to Katinas daughter had nothing to do with Katina.

So I guess at the end of this sad story, prayers for all persons concerned would be appropriate.

Thank you one and all.

Drf

[Tiddler]

Hi Drf,

Suicide situations are always hardest on those left behind. Even if Katina was advising her daughter to take actions that were in her daughter's best interest she should not allow the grieving mother's anger and frustration convince her she did anything wrong. Katina's first obligation is to her daughter and second to her son-in-law. Based on my impressions of you and the fact that Katina is close friend of you and your wife, I must conclude that she was probably considerate of the son-in-law and would have done everything she could to help both her daughter and son-in-law get through their divorce with as little pain as possible.

My wife has a coworker that had a step daughter hang herself from an overpass on the major highway that runs through town. This was not her first attempt and was not all that unexpected. There were things we would have done differently than this lady did, but I would never suggest she was at fault even if I thought so. No decent caring person would but a grieving mother in these circumstances is a sad and pitiful thing that only deserves our compassion and Katina's.

I feel terrible for all concerned and hope some day they all find a reason to smile and laugh again. Katina is blessed to have such caring friends.

[Sonnie]

Sounds like a tough situation, although my first thoughts would be how can suicide be blamed on anyone other than the person who commits it, especially if there is a family history of it. I guess it's easiest to place the blame on others if it makes you feel better.

At any rate... my prayers are with all concerned.

[drf]

thanks guys.

[Tiddler]

Sonnie wrote:

Sounds like a tough situation, although my first thoughts would be how can suicide be blamed on anyone other than the person who commits it, especially if there is a family history of it. I guess it's easiest to place the blame on others if it makes you feel better.

At any rate... my prayers are with all concerned.

If a person knows that someone is fragile and possibly suicidal and plays on their weakness by further trashing their self esteem, in a deliberate attempt to hurt them, then I would consider there to be some blame there.

In many cases it is difficult for people to understand the dynamic involved with someone suicidal and inadvertently push them further down. Some people even think depression is a character flaw and a good kick in the will do some good. Often this sort of good intentioned effort only further exacerbates the situation.

I know in my own case my daily efforts to simply pull up my boot straps and get on with life only lead to further depression when I just was not able to. It was only once I accepted that there was something wrong that I could not control that I was able to turn things around. It's hard to understand this if you have not experienced it. It's a kind of paralysis that many mistake for laziness or some other character flaw.