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post #1 of 16 Old 12-06-06, 02:32 PM Thread Starter
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I received this email from my aunt, pretty interesting and funny.

And, no I did not try but only because I have tried once before.

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"

...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase

... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.


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post #2 of 16 Old 12-06-06, 05:39 PM
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A few more

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a
lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are
2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search
for water.

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning
their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. Most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white
paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same
airplane, just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato
can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from
women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th
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post #3 of 16 Old 01-20-07, 07:01 PM
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a little late to pipe in..but i haven't been a member long.

anyway the "toothbrush" was actually invented in alabama...........anywhere else it would have been called a "TEETHBRUSH".

sonnie's gonna hurt me for that one!
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post #4 of 16 Old 01-21-07, 01:07 AM
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post #5 of 16 Old 01-21-07, 01:47 AM
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I did have a pun to make about biting back and having to look after your tooth, but I quite enjoy posting on these forums so I think I'll just keep quiet.
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post #6 of 16 Old 01-22-07, 04:15 AM
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The funniest fact I've heard this century is that BG is using our money to pretend to be a worldly-wise philanthropist.
It's a bit like a great white shark throwing fish pellets to the sardines. As soon as they gather into a shoal he cleans up.

Just imagine if a major car manufacturer released the equivalent of a new Windows operating system:

You'd get one new, real wheel fitted (instead of the supplied hospital bed castors) at 6 monthly intervals. So you'd have a full roadworthy set within two years. (with a following wind!) The steering would have so much backlash that avoiding oncoming traffic is impossible. Crashes are inevitable on every family outing. The fenders and exhaust would fall off at weekly intervals to be replaced by small, independent companies. Unfortunately the fit isn't very good so there is always a style and size mismatch because MS refused to supply the necessary details. The standard, blue-painted hood would fly up at random leaving you with no view forwards as you head towards the nearest stretch of solid concrete. The airbags are useless until the second year recall!

The trunk would fly up at slightly longer intervals depositing all your papers and valuables on the sidewalk where they would be stolen long before you could put your feet through the holes in the floor to slow the vehicle. The necessary upgraded "driving" shoes would be offered by an increasing number of small parasitic firms. There would be so many buttons on the dash that didn't work that you take up random button pushing in the vain hope that the air conditioning comes on. The windscreen wipers and heater don't work from new and it takes two major recalls before they start working intermittently. The screen demister never works leaving you with a fuzzy view of what is ahead.

The doors would fall off every time you thought you finally had some control over what was happening. Thus depositing your family members in the road to be left behind as they refuse to climb aboard ever again. The only things that work quite well are the headlights. Except that they are stuck permanently on main beam. This gives you the impression that you know where you are going but everybody else on the road hates you as you veer from side to side using up all the road. Other road users aren't impressed by your permanently dragging a vast, colourful, braking parachute behind you on every trip.

Only your teenage kids like driving your new wreck because they are fearless in their desperate attempts to obtain peer acceptance. They treat a new MS operating system like any other dangerous sport. They also like the fact that it only runs on top grade fuel entirely at their parent's expense. What nobody likes is how long it takes to get the engine started. (summer or winter). Not to mention how the engine runs on for hours after you switch off the ignition!

The reason MS only brings out new operating systems every few years is because it takes the duMmieS exactly that long to forget the last terrifying nightmare!
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post #7 of 16 Old 01-22-07, 05:07 AM
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At least the car would be built by one company, not 15 blokes standing in a pub wondering what the perfect car would be then going off on their own to try and build a part each

OOOOh, another M$ versus Linux debate in the funnies column
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post #8 of 16 Old 01-22-07, 06:25 AM
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Steve Williamson wrote: View Post
At least the car would be built by one company, not 15 blokes standing in a pub wondering what the perfect car would be then going off on their own to try and build a part each
Do you get many car manufacturers like that down your way?

OOOOh, another M$ versus Linux debate in the funnies column
Linux? Linux?
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post #9 of 16 Old 01-22-07, 06:47 AM
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As per

Linux is a free Unix-type operating system originally created by Linus Torvalds with the assistance of developers (or 15 blokes standing in a pub)

The only car manufacturers like that are Chrysler now they have started importing cars in to Oz (apart from the 300C that I want)
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post #10 of 16 Old 01-22-07, 10:10 AM
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that's funny.......i don't care who ya are!
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facts , funny

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