This crazy English language....

[Sonnie]

Can you read these correctly the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.


English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.


Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.


We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?


If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?


One goose, 2 geese


So one moose, 2 meese?


One index, 2 indices?


Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?


If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?


If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

[Chrisbee]

Sonnie wrote:

Can you read these correctly the first time?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

Though you've been through a lot lately don't be too rough on yourself. Cough-cough.

[Exocer]

Lol Sonnie funny post.You really thought of all this? IMPRESSIVE

[Sonnie]

Hardly... someone emailed them to me. You must have forgotten that I AM a bonafidecountryredneckhillbillyinalabama! Hardly smart enough to think of any of those... I barely made it through high school.

[Chrisbee]

Sonnie wrote:

I barely made it through high school.

You mean you were naked?

[Sonnie]

lol... okay... I almost didn't make it through high school. Thank goodness I was not naked.... I certainly wouldn't have made it then.

Spoiler

I wouldn't been able to keep the girls away! NOT!