FUNNY FACTS

[Fincave]

I received this email from my aunt, pretty interesting and funny.

And, no I did not try but only because I have tried once before.

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"

...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase

... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

[Danny]

A few more

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the
morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a
lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are
2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in
lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search
for water.

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning
their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. Most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white
paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same
airplane, just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato
can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from
women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th
cousins.

[scott]

a little late to pipe in..but i haven't been a member long.

anyway the "toothbrush" was actually invented in alabama...........anywhere else it would have been called a "TEETHBRUSH".

sonnie's gonna hurt me for that one!

[Sonnie]

hahahahaha... pickin' on us hillbillys... I see how ya gonna be now...

[drf]

I did have a pun to make about biting back and having to look after your tooth, but I quite enjoy posting on these forums so I think I'll just keep quiet.

[Chrisbee]

The funniest fact I've heard this century is that BG is using our money to pretend to be a worldly-wise philanthropist.
It's a bit like a great white shark throwing fish pellets to the sardines. As soon as they gather into a shoal he cleans up.

Just imagine if a major car manufacturer released the equivalent of a new Windows operating system:

You'd get one new, real wheel fitted (instead of the supplied hospital bed castors) at 6 monthly intervals. So you'd have a full roadworthy set within two years. (with a following wind!) The steering would have so much backlash that avoiding oncoming traffic is impossible. Crashes are inevitable on every family outing. The fenders and exhaust would fall off at weekly intervals to be replaced by small, independent companies. Unfortunately the fit isn't very good so there is always a style and size mismatch because MS refused to supply the necessary details. The standard, blue-painted hood would fly up at random leaving you with no view forwards as you head towards the nearest stretch of solid concrete. The airbags are useless until the second year recall!

The trunk would fly up at slightly longer intervals depositing all your papers and valuables on the sidewalk where they would be stolen long before you could put your feet through the holes in the floor to slow the vehicle. The necessary upgraded "driving" shoes would be offered by an increasing number of small parasitic firms. There would be so many buttons on the dash that didn't work that you take up random button pushing in the vain hope that the air conditioning comes on. The windscreen wipers and heater don't work from new and it takes two major recalls before they start working intermittently. The screen demister never works leaving you with a fuzzy view of what is ahead.

The doors would fall off every time you thought you finally had some control over what was happening. Thus depositing your family members in the road to be left behind as they refuse to climb aboard ever again. The only things that work quite well are the headlights. Except that they are stuck permanently on main beam. This gives you the impression that you know where you are going but everybody else on the road hates you as you veer from side to side using up all the road. Other road users aren't impressed by your permanently dragging a vast, colourful, braking parachute behind you on every trip.

Only your teenage kids like driving your new wreck because they are fearless in their desperate attempts to obtain peer acceptance. They treat a new MS operating system like any other dangerous sport. They also like the fact that it only runs on top grade fuel entirely at their parent's expense. What nobody likes is how long it takes to get the engine started. (summer or winter). Not to mention how the engine runs on for hours after you switch off the ignition!

The reason MS only brings out new operating systems every few years is because it takes the duMmieS exactly that long to forget the last terrifying nightmare!

[Steve Williamson]

At least the car would be built by one company, not 15 blokes standing in a pub wondering what the perfect car would be then going off on their own to try and build a part each

OOOOh, another M$ versus Linux debate in the funnies column

[Chrisbee]

Steve Williamson wrote:

At least the car would be built by one company, not 15 blokes standing in a pub wondering what the perfect car would be then going off on their own to try and build a part each

Do you get many car manufacturers like that down your way?

OOOOh, another M$ versus Linux debate in the funnies column

Linux? Linux?

[Steve Williamson]

As per www.linux.org:

Linux is a free Unix-type operating system originally created by Linus Torvalds with the assistance of developers (or 15 blokes standing in a pub)

The only car manufacturers like that are Chrysler now they have started importing cars in to Oz (apart from the 300C that I want)

[scott]

that's funny.......i don't care who ya are!

[scott]

that's right up there with........
sueing major tobacco cause you got lung cancer.

sueing jack daniels cause your liver is gone.

next time i get a speeding ticket i'm sueing G.M. for producing a vehicle that goes over 60 M.P.h.!!!!!!!!

[Chrisbee]

Henry will be spinning in his grave.. at about 1500rpm in third gear.

[Richard W. Haines]

Regarding Danny's list of facts, what's amazing about Fact 6, not only are only 7 percent of the population lefties, but most live in Hollywood.

Here's another bit of triva. The dangerous date rape drug, Xtasy, was originally created by
the US Army as a substitute for Sodium Pendathal or 'truth serium' for use in interrogating
suspects. Because it could be fatal if taken by some people (which means they couldn't
get the desired information), it was rejected by later picked up by the counter-culture.
At least that's the information I got from an actor in one of my films named Hector
Garcia ("Soft Money" feature film) who did a term paper on the drug in college.
Of course the trouble with any type of chemical truth serium is the same problem as
a lie detector test. If the subject is crazy, you won't get an accurate reading or information.

[yourgrandma]

MDMA isnt a date rape drug, but was used extensively by therapists in dealing with couples with relationship issues as it was found to be quite helpful in allowing people to relate to one another. One doctor saw its recreational uses and began bringing it to bars, it became popular in that setting, eventually leading to a number of deaths in the Huston area, causing it to be classified as a Schedule 1 controlled substance, meaning it has been determined to have no benefitial effects and no promis in medical research.

As a side note, other drugs in the schedule 1 category include marijuana, Mescaline (Peote cactus), Psilocybin (Mushrooms), LSD, and all othe hallousanagens. Schedule 1 is the most serious level of the dea's system for controlling drugs. On the other hand, Meth is schedule 2, as are PCP, cocaine, opium, heroine. Schedules 3,4 and 5 include prescription drugs prone to abuse.

Something to think about, does anyone think weed is deadlier than meth?

[Richard W. Haines]

Some movie related funny facts.

The origin of the word 'film'.

Here's one story I read about it. When Charles Eastman was trying to find a substitute for
the glass negatives used in still cameras, he tried mixing different substances including a nitrate derivative. What ultimately resulted was a nitrate plastic that was suitable
for still cameras but less suitable for projecting in a motion picture projector decades later
but that's another story. When people examined his thin nitrate plastic sheet they said
it resembled 'fillum' which was what they called the clear substance found on the top of spoiled milk.
Later it was shortened to 'film' and the word stuck.


If you were on a movie set you'd hear the cameraman state that the next shot was was "MOS".
What that meant was that it was a shot that didn't require sound like the close up of a hand holding a gun.
In other words it was 'With Out Sound'.
Of course you would think that the the symbols WOS (without sound) would
make more sense but that's not what they use. The words 'MOS' refer to "Mitt out sound" which
is how one of the German directors coined it while working in the early thirties at one of the US studios. There are too many candidates to determine which one although Von Sternberg is often
sited for its origin. In any event, the German accented "Mitt out sound" was shortened to
MOS and is still used on the camera slates today for silent inserts and establishing shots.


Another term that makes no sense is 'the face on the cutting room floor'. Even in the days
when directors edited on film, they wouldn't throw the out-takes or extra scenes on the floor
of the editing suite. It would've made them dusty and dirty which would've gotten into
the Moviola and made a mess of the machine. If an assistant editor threw the film on the floor
he'd be fired. It is true that they used to destroy the
extra film footage after the movie was completed in most (but not all) cases in the past. Today everything is saved and
movies are constantly being re-edited in special editions to the point where the term "director's
cut" becomes a bit confusing considering how many versions there are of "Star Wars",
"Close Encounters", "Alien", "The Godfather" and "Bladerunner", all of which were revised
extensively by the original filmmakers. There certainly won't be any more 'face on the
cutting room floor' claims. Out-takes and alternate scenes end up in the suppliments on
DVD.

[yourgrandma]

SWAG is Stuff We All Get, while were on the movie theme, it came about as a result of all the free junk people get before the Oscars.