I take it most of you guys are not married

**the_diyr** · **10-14-09, 08:13 PM**

I just have to say this.. " I am so sick of Lifetime i could puke" does your wife hog the remote.. I just wondered// and I refuse to go watch the little 32 inch tv in the bedroom

**Richard W. Haines** · **10-15-09, 12:16 PM**

Why would you assume that? Everyone in my family (wife, sister, parents) are
film buffs which is not surprising since I'm a film-maker and showman since I
was a kid. I started showing Super 8 sound features back in the seventies
then projected 16mm and later 35mm Technicolor prints and finally standard
DVD then HD DVD and Blu-Ray in the screening room to everyone. Every
weekend we have a screeening with the Optoma HD70 projected onto
the 10 foot wide screen of some movie be it Blu-Ray or HD DVD or
standard DVD or 35mm. No one in my extended family goes to cinemas anymore.
I provide the 'show' in the screening room every weekend for many, many years.
It's expected of me. This includes not only the movie but shorts, cartoons, posters,
pressbooks and programs on display. A mini Repertory cinema long the lines of the
defuct "Elgin", "Regency" and "Carnegie Hall Cinema" from the past.

**glaufman** · **10-16-09, 11:08 AM**

Quote:

Richard W. Haines wrote:

Why would you assume that? Everyone in my family (wife, sister, parents) are
film buffs which is not surprising since I'm a film-maker and showman since I
was a kid. I started showing Super 8 sound features back in the seventies
then projected 16mm and later 35mm Technicolor prints and finally standard
DVD then HD DVD and Blu-Ray in the screening room to everyone. Every
weekend we have a screeening with the Optoma HD70 projected onto
the 10 foot wide screen of some movie be it Blu-Ray or HD DVD or
standard DVD or 35mm. No one in my extended family goes to cinemas anymore.
I provide the 'show' in the screening room every weekend for many, many years.
It's expected of me. This includes not only the movie but shorts, cartoons, posters,
pressbooks and programs on display. A mini Repertory cinema long the lines of the
defuct "Elgin", "Regency" and "Carnegie Hall Cinema" from the past.

Care to adopt another family member?

**Richard W. Haines** · **10-16-09, 11:28 AM**

Can't afford it.

**SQCherokee** · **10-16-09, 09:50 PM**

Quote:

the_diyr wrote:

I just have to say this.. " I am so sick of Lifetime i could puke"

I grew up watching Mystery science theater 3000 and I have to try really really really hard to not make fun of lifetime movies.

However one time I was watching a lifetime movie with my wife that made her cry.

Through her tears she asked me "dosn't this make you sad?"

I replied "yes."

she then asked "what about it makes you sad?"

To which I replied...
"The fact that somebody on the other side of the camera said 'cut! that was great!'

**the_diyr** · **10-18-09, 07:18 PM**

Adding to the craziness..Today my wife is sick .. I watched the Saint whoop some donkey.. Then New England ... So now I decide to hook up an old 15 inch car sub that I had in the closet just to see what would happen .. I hooked it to an old plate amp off of a magnovox powered sub .. About 75 watts.. And then I ran a sweeping bass test .. The 10 inch powered yamaha was ratteling the walls the 15 inch was free air as I gently turned up the volume to my bass test .. All of a sudden my wife comes out of the bedroom and says turn the bass off are when you go to work tonight I am throwing all that stuff in the trash...

Now I am scared to go to work....

**the_diyr** · **10-19-09, 10:07 PM**

My tv in the den is 1080i HD hooked up to HDMI, My tv in the bedroom is standered 4:3 tube 32 inch.. Because we have dish network both tv's will sy HD on the screen Right .. So my wife is watching the football game in the bedroom and I am watching it in the den on true HD.. as you know she sees what happens a few second ahead of what I do .. So the chargers score , she screams a fe seconds earlier than me then I yell. She then says I am on the wrong channel and that my tv is messed up because she say it says HD on the bottom of the screen

So I try to explain and I get cussed out.. She said it is due to the fact that I screwed up the speakers in the den

WOW !!!!

**nerdful1** · **10-19-09, 10:59 PM**

I remember in the 70's when I had a hifi repair store, when people paid for repairing boxes that broke, (like today's closed source computers) that the age of the equipment was +0 - 2years of their marriage date. (Or in honor: Vietnam war age gear our surviving soldiers that bought stuff overseas).
Many wanted a certificate of death on their audio stuff to show the wife to be able to purchase new.

**SQCherokee** · **10-20-09, 02:35 AM**

Quote:

nerdful1 wrote:

I remember in the 70's when I had a hifi repair store, when people paid for repairing boxes that broke, (like today's closed source computers) that the age of the equipment was +0 - 2years of their marriage date. (Or in honor: Vietnam war age gear our surviving soldiers that bought stuff overseas).
Many wanted a certificate of death on their audio stuff to show the wife in able to renew.

nerdful1 I think I follow what you said.

**Wayne A. Pflughaupt** · **10-20-09, 08:00 AM**

diyer, that's some funny stuff!

A little marital advice: Next time you get the urge to do some subwoofer testing, give your wife the credit card and send her to the mall!

Regards,
Wayne

**MatrixDweller** · **10-20-09, 11:44 AM**

I've been married for over 8 years now and my wife gives me a little leeway when it come to my HT. She does still control the budget so I can't just go out and splurge on stuff. Pretty much anything in my HT has to be DIY or bought used after selling something else. I sold my coin collection to get my projector, my old receiver to get my current one, my old speakers and a domain name to get new speakers, etc.

Now she gets to spend indiscriminately on things that she wants though, like a new floor in the living room or a new deck with furniture and a gazebo. Then there's the fact that I brown bag my lunch everyday while she goes out for lunch or orders in pizza several times a week. She'll buy something new to wear quite frequently and her closet is overflowing whereas I buy new clothes when the old ones wear out. The personal spending is quite lop sided in her favor.

Of course this is my fault. I allow her to do this and I enable the behavior. I don't stand up for myself and tell her that I want to manage my paycheck and pay the bills. So how do I fix this?

I need to be assertive and tell her firmly how things are going to be. I need to communicate in an effective and intelligent manner and let her know how I feel. I will not get angry or raise my voice when she tries to argue with me, I will only say how things are going to be done and leave it at that. If she has a problem with something then I will have to take into consideration her complaint and put things into perspective to do a reality check. Certain priorities come first and I can't ignore her needs or she will be unhappy just like I was. I will comprise and demand that she does the same also. Most of all I will talk with her and set goals and plans for the present and future.

So in your case, with your projector, you should have told her how much it meant to you and showed her your build thread. If it took up a lot of space in your living room or where ever you had it then you could compromise and move it somewhere out of sight or build a better enclosure for it. You would have to justify it's value to you currently. If you can't justify it then it might be time to get rid of it.

Going behind her back and buying something expensive that you know she would disapprove of is not going to help anything. You should have told her that you were going to get it, assertively, and you would have to be able to justify it to her. ie: "I am going to buy a new large screen TV. I have $2000 saved up and we've had that old 32" TV for 10 years now. We can move that into the bedroom".

The bottom line is that communication is a key component to a happy marriage.

**salvasol** · **10-20-09, 03:21 PM**

Quote:

MatrixDweller wrote:

The bottom line is that communication is a key component to a happy marriage.

Communicating before or after the purchase???

**the_diyr** · **10-20-09, 03:32 PM**

Communicating before or after the purchase???

GOOD ONE

**MatrixDweller** · **10-20-09, 06:23 PM**

I didn't mean to go all Dr. Phil on y'all. I think I am in need of more help actually.

**JimP** · **10-20-09, 11:15 PM**

MatrixDweller,

Man....I feel sorry for you.

Feel like I ought to send you a subwoofer or something.

**glaufman** · **10-21-09, 09:53 AM**

Quote:

Wayne A. Pflughaupt wrote:

diyer, that's some funny stuff!

A little marital advice: Next time you get the urge to do some subwoofer testing, give your wife the credit card and send her to the mall!

Regards,
Wayne

And cancel it before she gets there!

**MatrixDweller** · **10-21-09, 11:03 AM**

Quote:

JimP wrote:

MatrixDweller,

Man....I feel sorry for you.

Feel like I ought to send you a subwoofer or something.

That might not pass the WAF

**SQCherokee** · **10-23-09, 11:13 PM**

Matrix, I'm not trying to be rude here...and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to. But does your wife make more money than you? I have found with some friends and co workers that if their wife makes more money they sometimes have an attitude of whats yours is mine and whats mine is mine. We as men can do that as well...we tend to be very selfish. However if spending like that is what makes her feel secure there may be no middle ground untill she fully understands how you feel.

**panaman** · **10-25-09, 03:23 PM**

Quote:

MatrixDweller wrote:

I didn't mean to go all Dr. Phil on y'all. I think I am in need of more help actually.

dude, I tell you what.... next time she falls asleep, sneak into her purse and get your berry's back

**MatrixDweller** · **10-27-09, 12:34 PM**

For most of our marriage she has made less but fairly close to what I make. She now makes about the same and will be making more in the future as she is in an excellent job with lots of potential for growth. She just controls the money and has for the past 6 years. Before that it was a shared arrangement. 6 years ago she was on maternity leave and had more time to deal with the bills and what not. She just has not let go since taking over. We make great money, but her needs have kept us in debt with her paycheck to paycheck style of financial management. She spends every last red cent.

It's funny my neighbor just went through a divorce and has to give a good chunk of his paycheck to his ex-wife for child support. He says that he has a lot more money now at the end of the month then he ever had while married even without her income (his wife was a spender too). He said that he had put his foot down in regards to her spending and that was a contributing factor in his divorce. That's something I don't want to happen.

We have talked about it, and how it makes me feel, but nothing has ever gone anywhere. It's not a totally unfair system, just mostly. I don't see my paycheck. I don't have the ability to save for anything major. All my HT gear was bought by selling other items and only used minimal cash on hand or DIYing them.

It is going to have to change sooner or later or I will go nuts.

panaman: If I did that she'd keel haul me.

**tonyvdb** · **10-27-09, 12:39 PM**

Guy's Lets keep this thread civil, Its starting to turn into a wife bashing fest and thats pushing the forum rules.
Marriage is about making sacrifices and give and take. We all knew this when we said "I Do"

**Wayne A. Pflughaupt** · **10-27-09, 12:50 PM**

Wow, Matrix, that really stinks. I think I'd just quit giving her my paycheck. Or if it's an auto-deposit, put a stop on it.

Say, maybe you could just "spend it" before she does - just withdraw it and put it in a savings account that doesn't have her name on it! LOL

Regards,
Wayne

**MatrixDweller** · **10-27-09, 12:55 PM**

Sorry...didn't know I was crossing any lines. I was just airing my dirty laundry and hoping that I might get supportive answers in return. I don't really have an outlet for this elsewhere.

I do agree that Marriage should be about give and take and making sacrifices.

**panaman** · **10-27-09, 01:02 PM**

Quote:

MatrixDweller wrote:

Sorry...didn't know I was crossing any lines. I was just airing my dirty laundry and hoping that I might get supportive answers in return. I don't really have an outlet for this elsewhere.

I do agree that Marriage should be about give and take and making sacrifices.

interesting.... the guide I read before I got married said something different....
I even put it in a frame for my wife so that she can keep going back to it for reference.

**Wayne A. Pflughaupt** · **10-27-09, 01:06 PM**

Ah, those were the days...

Regards,
Wayne

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