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Can you read these correctly the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.


English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.


Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.


We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?


If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?


One goose, 2 geese


So one moose, 2 meese?


One index, 2 indices?


Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?


If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?


If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
 

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Sonnie said:
Can you read these correctly the first time?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
Though you've been through a lot lately don't be too rough on yourself. Cough-cough. ;)
 

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Lol Sonnie funny post.You really thought of all this? IMPRESSIVE :D
 

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Hardly... someone emailed them to me. You must have forgotten that I AM a bonafidecountryredneckhillbillyinalabama! Hardly smart enough to think of any of those... I barely made it through high school.
 

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lol... :nono: okay... I almost didn't make it through high school. Thank goodness I was not naked.... I certainly wouldn't have made it then.

Spoiler
I wouldn't been able to keep the girls away! :rofl: NOT!
 

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Hi
Don’t know what to study? Need specific knowledge? About to take a trip? LangLearner makes it easy. LangLearner Lessons allow people from all levels to learn or re-learn the most important things for getting by in another language.
 

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And you know the English language is hard to learn when you realize that Canadian English has words spelled different than US English.
Colour - Color
Center- centre
saviour- savior
just to name a few.
 

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And you know the English language is hard to learn when you realize that Canadian English has words spelled different than US English.
Colour - Color
Center- centre
saviour- savior
just to name a few.
The same down here..

Another poignant one.;
Theater - Theatre..

It's no wonder they say the English language is the hardest one to learn!!
 

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What is this? I’m very much an Englishman and what I see here is jab at our language, things like Shakespeare who I don’t care for as the guy was cat hater, so in don’t give hoot, hoot about his use of the English literature or what ever it may be.

I personally don’t mind you taking the Mickey out of us, we do it to you over on this side of the pond. :D

I must say I like my, centre speaker for being matched up with the left and right pair they are so choice in terms of sound reproduction.

Anyway I do like your sense of humour Sonnie I couldn’t stop laughing at the way some of those sentences was written out. It’s the type of thing you’d see at school for dyslexic people who have handicap in writing and spelling of words.

I myself was in that very same boat at school. I couldn’t read very well or even so, much write a simple story.

I’m not even sure where to place comers , in my text. I’m too hyperactive and that is one of my handicaps and I get a little stuck sometimes.

I left school with 0 GCSE and 0 A levels and 0 O levels. basically I left with 0 qualifications but hey, I’m still here and I have found a wonders invention called the pc and Microsoft word, ware I do all my text and copy and paste and there it is.:sn:

Oh, the term theatre is mostly associated with stage plays in the UK and cinema is the movie house picture house depending on who you bumbling into in the UK as many have different way of saying it.

Oh, one more thing. (center US) (centre UK) is underlined in red as the Word is set to English UK and if I purposely written it out, I mean typed it out that way then I’m alerted to the misspelling of it.

If you coped my text pasted it onto Microsoft Word you’ll see the difference.
 

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Can you read these correctly the first time?
Yes, all but #7, which caught me off guard.\


And I'll throw something weirder into the mix. How do you pronounce the following: ghoti


gh - as in the word "rough", has an "f" sound
o - as in the word "women", has an "i" sound
ti - as in the word "nation" has a "sh" sound


So, based on the English language, the correct pronunciation of "ghoti" is "fish"
 
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