MPAA Rating: PG-13
Disc/Transfer Information: High Definition 1080p; Aspect Ratio: 2.40:1; Original Aspect Ratio 2.39:1; Region A (U.S.) Release Tested
Video Codec: MPEG-4 AVC
Tested Audio Track: English Dolby Digital 5.1 (448kbps)
Director: Kirk Jones
Starring Cast: Elizabeth Banks, Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Brooklyn Decker, Chris Rock
About the only thing remotely appealing about this waste of 90 or so minutes – loosely “inspired by” the novel of the same name but which is actually a stretch because the book is basically a “how-to” guide and roster of actual things to be expecting during the knocked-up stage, not a platform for the antics of beautiful people getting baby advice from none other than a nappy-headed Chris Rock – is laying your eyes on the ever-delicious and ridiculously attractive Brooklyn Decker. This girl is incredibly hot, and I envy any red-blooded American – or otherwise – male who has had the chance, or will have the chance, to sample -- er, court -- her. Boy. While seeing her cute self last in Battleship (which I didn’t get a chance to review due to a hectic schedule and other dilemmas but which I actually enjoyed even with the appearance of Rihanna) as the smokin’ hot daughter of Navy ship commander Liam Neeson, Decker looked fabulous in What to Expect too, even with her overtly fake belly which housed twin babies in this. Actually, all the stuck-up, “I-would-never-consider-a-guy-who-wasn’t-a-perfect-10” actresses in this – including Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz and Elizabeth Banks – flaunt overtly phony pregnant bellies, but that’s not this film’s biggest problem if you can believe this.
A bunch of different couples share the same “fate” when they each end up learning they’re pregnant, after trying to an almost scientific degree – you know these idiotic women, the ones who have their cell phones programmed to alarm when they’re ovulating because it’s just that important to drop out a kid. Elizabeth Banks is the somewhat older one of the bunch, running her own business in her little town, while Cameron Diaz plays the catty, cold (far stretch, right?) host of a weight-loss show based on The Biggest Loser where she tramps around in an incredibly tight pair of daisy duke-cut spandex shorts with an equally ridiculously toned bod and the awesome Brooklyn Decker stars as the gorgeous new southern belle wife of Elizabeth Bank’s husband’s father (Dennis Quaid) in a rather uber-cliched role that you know so well…how does it go? The rich, womanizing older snob (in this case, Quaid) gets with a stunning, skinny blonde chick (Decker) because he either has money or can offer her some misplaced rise to the top…meantime, the new trophy wife tramps around in sky-high stiletto heels, designer dresses that can melt a man gawking at her with one glance, wickedly sensual smiles that can increase your heart rate by themselves and a body to die for. In other words, a woman no ordinary man would ever be able to touch, approach or feel comfortable being in the same room with. Or, if you please, a chick none of us would ever have a remote chance in obtaining. At all. Oh, and then there are two more elements to the characters – Jennifer Lopez’s character, who ends up adopting a kid from Africa with her six-pack-stomached, cool-as-can-be (a chick like this wouldn’t have it any other way, right?) foreign-tongued husband, as well as a subplot involving a cute chick from a food stand and her old high school flame who reconnects with her and knocks her up too, but which leads to a miscarriage.
Meanwhile, talent is lost on the likes of the normally hilarious Chris Rock, who leads a group of guys through the park every week with their diapers, strollers, pacifiers and baby wipes as a sort of “group therapy” for men taking care of babies during the day. The gag attempts to be the centerpiece of the film’s appeal – if you recall the trailers, they depicted Rock and these clowns walking with the baby strollers in slow motion to the soundtrack of “Big Poppa” by the Notorious BIG, hinting at funny dialogue between them about minivans, houses and wives – but when you watch the actual film, none of it is really funny or moving. I still don’t know what was going on with Rock’s nappy head in this film, but he looked terrible and greasy, and the whole gag involving one of his idiotic kids who keeps on running into things and being hit over the head with objects knocking it out wasn’t remotely amusing to me.
There’s a rather funny sequence that comes when Banks’ character is almost due to give birth and is supposed to give a seminar at a baby expo, when she urinates herself and must go out on stage with her psycho assistant’s unicorn T-shirt on to just end up ripping her gigantic “momma bra” off and explode in a rhetoric about what it’s really like to be pregnant -- the sweats, the kicking, the mood swings and of course the eventual automatic farting which happens to her as she exits the stage. But other than that, I wasn’t quite sure what the point of this film was, as it all culminates with the chicks giving birth, of course, and….oh, you know what? Forget it. This was totally not a guy’s flick.
VIDEO QUALITY ANALYSIS:
Lionsgate’s 1080p encode for What to Expect When You’re Expecting was clean enough, with minor hints of noise and video fuzz during “overlapped” sequences such as when Diaz’s character is onstage during her show, or some other random moments; for the most part, this was a clean transfer with good, solid color and detail rendition especially during outdoor sequences and no problems with shadow detail.
AUDIO QUALITY ANALYSIS:
The version of the film I received to review, while a Blu-ray, came equipped with a lossy Dolby Digital 5.1 mix (from what I understand, there are variants which carry a 7.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track) but for the material on display, the mix worked well enough. Music scenes came across with punch and clarity, if a bit on the “lower volume” side, and dialogue was clear enough to understand. Some surround activity reared its head during random times – the cheering of a crowd, horns blaring from cars, environmental fill, etc. – but it was very subtle, the majority of the audio coming from the front three channels.
Don’t bother with this; skip it.